Thursday, June 14, 2012

If the World was (were?) Just

I have a job!

I spend several hours a day busing tables and smiling really big. I say "Aloha" and "Mahalo" and "Are you done with that?" You don't have to have a very big vocabulary when you bus tables.

Applying for jobs was a painful process for me. I felt extremely judged. Every time I went into talk to someone I stood there awkwardly and tried to think of something impressive to say. You know, something like, I can lift three hundred pounds. And tame lions. 

Somehow my GPA wasn't quite cutting it.

Working is exposing me to my woeful ignorance, which is never a comfortable feeling. Nothing they taught me at school makes me any better at balancing silverware. I am really hoping that busing isn't my life's calling. Because I kind of stink at it.

It isn't just that my job shows me all sorts of things I don't know. It also starts poking holes in things I thought I did know.

I mean, I always knew that I didn't know anything about how the internet works. But I thought I had a basic grasp on Newton's laws of motion. Not, a rocket science, I'm going to fly a monkey to Mars level. But a function in the everyday world, have a general idea of how to throw a ball level. But here's the thing--I can't figure out the mechanisms of a cart.

You would think that moving a cart should be fairly straightforward. You put wheels on something and it moves. But apparently carts can be broken. Not as in a wheel falling off. As in... it no longer responds to my understanding of Newton's laws.

"For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction."

...Guys, does that not mean that a cart should move in the way you push it? No?

My whole life has been a lie.

(If the world was just, carts would move in the way you push them. I'm just saying.)