I Beat Up a Ninja

You believe me, right? You believe I beat up a ninja?

No? Fine, then.

So last Monday I went in to donate blood.

I'd never done it before. I tried last semester, but they said I sounded like I had a cold and was too short. I was a little scared because the night before my roommate entertained me with horror stories about passing out, and somehow reading Romantic (capital "R," folks) Literature has not instilled me with a desire to faint.

Anyway, I got there and it was fine. I answered the questions, they took my blood. As a side note, I suspect that donating blood is as close as I'll ever come to alien abduction. Check it out next time you go in. If you close your eyes the whole time, you could totally be in a sci-fi movie.

About ten minutes after they were done and I'd consumed a bag of pretzels I looked down and noticed my arm was strangely swollen. Significantly so. I knew because it looked like I'm toned, and I'm not. The nice blood-bank people gave me an ice pack and handed me a sticker that said "I MAKE A DIFFERENCE."

(Does anyone else find the sticker's caps excessive? Like that Chinese restaurant that feel the need to declare that they serve "delicious" Chinese food. You know, in case you weren't sure. It's delicious and I MAKE A DIFFERENCE.)

Now, it's officially been a week and a day. The excessive sticker is pinned to my dresser drawer and guess what, guys? My arm is still swollen. And really sore. On the bright side, it came with some really impressive bruises that make it look like I won a fight with a ninja. On the dark side, these bruises encourage people to ask me if my boyfriend has a temper.

I've been unable to convince anyone I beat up a ninja.