If you went back in time what could you really tell them?
Me: "One day, in the future, we'll have machines that fly in the sky."
Person in the Past:"What's a machine?"
Me: "Um... It moves. By itself. And it's metal."
Past Person: "How will metal fly through the air?"
Me: "It has an engine."
Past Person:"What's an engine?"
Me: "It's this thing... that makes things move... with gas..."
Past Person:"What's gas?"
Me: "Old dinosaurs. In the ground. Except now it's liquid."
Past Person: "What are dinosaurs?"
or
Me: "You can talk all the way across the world to people through phones and the internet."
Past Person: "What are phones?"
Me: "They're these things you talk into, and people who aren't there hear you."
Past Person: "How?"
Me: "They send out, like, waves or something?"
Past Person: "Waves?"
Me: "Um. Yeah."
Past Person: "What's the internet?"
Me: "....I have no idea."
When we finally invent a time machine ("What's a time machine?") may I be the first to not volunteer to be the first one to go back. I think the best I could do for them would be a hot air balloon.
Past Person: "Why does heat rise?"
Me: (getting into my time machine) "Listen, the earth goes around the sun, put cream and sugar in a bag of ice and shake it up, and standardized tests are going to destroy the world, OK?"
Bwah ha ha. I love the last bit especially.
ReplyDeleteHow about trying to explain twitter? I'd like to hear how that one goes.
Me: It's this thing... where you follow people.
ReplyDeletePast Person: You follow them? Around?
Me: No. Sort of. They write things and you read them.
Past Person: What kind of things?
Me: What they're doing. Or thinking. Or eating.
Past Person: ...Why?
Me: I dunno...
Past Person: Where do they write it?
Me: On their phones. Or the internet.
Past Person: Never mind.